By Dee Dussault, Sex Coach & Ganja Yoga Teacher
‘Tis the season for romance, and if you’re looking for a way to make your night even sexier, there are many ways cannabis can enhance your sex life.
Some lovers out there are already daily tokers, and if that’s you, I’ll be sharing sexy tips for both the novice and veteran alike. However, if you’re a total newbie to the world of cannabis, or feel apprehensive about trying it again after a bad trip long ago, let me be the first to say, it’s a brave new world now, and cannabis is not the same thing it was even five years ago.
With new scientific understandings of how it affects our body and cutting edge technology to make the most of extraction and bioavailability, cannabis is blooming. With so much diversity in strain type (literally thousands to choose from), ways to consume (smoke, vape, eat, or rub it), and types of potential effect, in many ways it’s like talking about many different plants! The good news is, when it comes to cannabis, now there’s something for nearly everyone.
If you’ve heard good things about using cannabis for sex and want to try it, consider me your green Cupid, shooting you with my arrow of knowledge this Valentine’s’ day.
You’re in good hands: I’m a sexuality coach and relaxation expert, and I’ll give you the tools you need to select the best cannabis product to get the job done, whether with a lover or on your own, while sprinkling in some intimacy and sensuality techniques from the world of Tantra Yoga, which will expand both the psychoactive experience of the cannabis and the passion you’re experiencing!
CANNABIS & RELAXATION
Cannabis is good for love because it’s good for yoga, listening to music, walks in nature, and anything else you like. Cannabis increases relaxation, which enables us to connect to and feel into our bodies more deeply, which makes sex way better. (When cannabis doesn’t relax you, it usually means the strain was too high in THC, or too much cannabis was consumed).
In yoga, we learn that we enjoy and appreciate life more when we’re feeling relaxed. Relaxation of both body and mind is the key to really good living, and to really good sex. Think about the best sexual experiences you’ve had; I bet it was when you were free of concern, anxiety, and distraction. Think about how extra-good sex feels after a run, or when on vacation. When we’re relaxed, our blood vessels dilate, allowing for greater nerve sensitivity throughout the body.
Cannabis, at the right strain and dose, encourages mental and physical relaxation. It has been shown to sooth depression and anxiety, while at the same time, decreasing inflammation and pain.
I tell my sex coaching clients to think of cannabis as an energetic lubricant, washing away the corrosive armor of tension that we carry, usually unconsciously. To get high and chill out. Many of us know that stress and anxiety are implicated in low sex drive for both genders, and inability to attain orgasm in women and male premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction in guys. Using cannabis to relax is a stand for self-care and a commitment to better sex.
Tip: If you’re new to cannabis, explore it in places that feel comfortable and pleasing, either alone or with people you trust and feel good around. There’s no rush to develop a relationship at a fast pace. Just take your time and enjoy the journey. Choose methods of consumption that feel the most natural and exciting to you:Vaping, smoking, eating, using tinctures, or rubbing on topicals. My favorite for sex is a low-dose edible that can slowly take effect about a half an hour after I eat it. Chocolates like Kiva give a wonderfully pleasurable body-buzz!
RELAXATION AS FOREPLAY
Using cannabis to relax is one thing. Using cannabis, alongside various relaxation practices, is quite another. Mindfulness is one such practice. Here you attempt to keep your attention in the present moment instead of being lost in thought.
Mindfulness is a spiritual practice with pragmatic applications. It reduces stress and brings more appreciation, but it also can make time feel slower. When you’re right here, right now, with the universe of sensation and emotion (and even noticing thoughts without getting lost in them), you get to savor the passing of time instead of feeling like you’re racing against it or a slave to it.
Being mindful as you nibble that delicious artisanal chocolate edible not only makes you more grateful for the moment, it also makes the moment feel more divine.
Combining mindfulness, cannabis, and sexual intimacy creates a sort of “entourage effect” where the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. Adding other forms of conscious relaxation before getting busy, like taking a hot bath, busting out some yoga, or lighting candles, will make both the high and the loving even more meaningful, sweet, and yummy!
Tip: What can you be mindful of, right now as you read? Lift your head for a moment and notice color, shape, sound. Notice your mood, thoughts, feelings. Notice your body, heartbeat, breath. When you’re preparing to meet with your lover, take the time to relax with a few minutes of mindfulness practice, or other activities that relax you physically and emotionally. The more relaxed you are, the more you’ll feel and enjoy the timeless eternity of each passionate moment!
USING CANNABIS WITH FOREPLAY
First things first, let’s do away with the term “foreplay” because sexual intimacy can be a delicious, lingered-over journey from start to finish. Intercourse or genital sex do not have to be the main act, as there is so much to explore and enjoy as you traverse the whole arousal journey.
Second, women, in particular, need extra time to relax in order to activate their fullest sexual response. There are areas of the female brain that are associated with feelings of worry, stress, anxiety, and guilt, and these take quite a bit of time to come “offline.”
At the same time, the vast network of erectile tissue of the clitoris, rich in sensory nerves and seemingly infinite capacity for pleasure, (and about the size of a penis, though mostly all internal), also takes a time to fully engorge.
As we know, cannabis will activate a woman’s relaxation response, so toking in the bathtub before her sweety comes home is one way for a woman to prime her body for more pleasure. However, toking together can be a form of foreplay, a part of the sexual experience, which slows things down and allows the erotic energy to build. Passing the doobie or sampling the flavors of the vape pen is a way to connect with your lover as you cultivate the senses.
And then, of course, there are topicals, cannabis-infused creams and oils (like Arnicann) that are designed to be used on the skin to soothe aches but can be used for massage and even hand-jobs, as long as condoms aren’t used where there have been oils.
A massage is a wonderful form of “foreplay” and it can feel as good to give as to receive. Just lose yourself in giving, without wondering if you’re doing it right, and check in here and there to receive feedback from your lover so you can adjust accordingly. Find topicals that are made from food-grade ingredients so you can lick and kiss the body parts you’ve been rubbing!
Tip: Breathe deeply as you immerse yourself in touching, making out, and other forms of sexy play; deep breaths intensify pleasurable sensations and emotions.
USING CANNABIS TO LENGTHEN SEXY PLAY
You can also use cannabis during the “valley” parts of sex, when the energy is less intense and you can rest and connect again, puff, and giggle, before getting down and dirty once more.
Cannabis, with its ability to stretch time, can help us to become lost in the intimacy, connection, and pleasure we can share with a partner (or enjoy with ourselves). Being high lends itself to slowing down and not chasing the “goal” of orgasm. Instead, the goal becomes the pleasure.
With cannabis, make-outs, cuddles, and love-making sessions become longer in duration, less goal-oriented, and as such, more of the brain chemical oxytocin gets released. This is the hormone responsible for feelings of trust, well-being, and fulfillment.
The formulae for ganja-enhanced passion then looks like this: Cannabis = relaxation, + active relaxation cultivation (like yoga or a bath before sex) + mindfulness practice + good sexy play = longer good sexy play = more happy juice in the brain = more sexy play = more happy juice, in an endless loop of expanding pleasure.
It’s no wonder Tantra Yoga considers sexual experience one of the foundational ways to attain enlightenment.
Tip: During a “valley” moment in sex, ask your partner to close their eyes and inhale as you press the cool metal mouthpiece of the vape pen to their lips. Closing the eyes enhances the other senses, so touch and taste become stronger.
STRAIN & DOSE
Make a sensual adventure of choosing strains, based on what you smell. Forgo delivery this Valentine’s, and take your date to a dispensary where they have nice big jars of cannabis, and take a big whiff of each one. The terpenes you like are probably medicinally helpful to you; your body is expressing it’s wisdom through these cravings and delights.
Beginners might consider building a relationship to different cannabis strains before using it with sex. If you experiment and find you get agitated or anxious (or overly lethargic), that’s not the strain for love making! Keep sampling, perhaps with masturbation, to see the sexy effect of each strain. There is no one best strain for sex, in my opinion, just many that can relax, arouse, and connect you.
Regarding dose, people new to cannabis, or who have been sensitive in the past, should start with a very low dose. I’m a fan of the principle of “minimum effective dose,” where we take the least amount of medicine needed to obtain the desired effect. It would be a waste of energy to use more muscular force than needed to chop firewood, for example, and there’d be physical consequences for overdoing it: sore muscles the next day. By the same token, there’s no need to get blotto stoned when using cannabis for sex. You can always add more! Low potency vaping (like Alchemy vape pens) helps to prevent over-doing it.
Tip: Each individual plant will affect your body and mind in its unique way, and this will change from time to time and plant to plant. One strain of Blue Dream might have slightly different genetics the next grow season. You might have different brain chemistry the next time you smoke it. By consuming less and going slow, you’ll be sure to ride the wave of the optimal cannabis high.
STAY LUBED UP, INSIDE AND OUT
Now you know why cannabis enhances passion and play, and you have some tips to make the most of it: Slowing down, being mindful, dropping goals, and immersing yourself in pleasure.
The last word of advice, make sure you have lots of water handy before things steam up. Cannabis can cause “dry mouth”, so by the same token, dryness in the vagina can also be a result. Even if you are going slow and savoring the “foreplay,” you might need to take hydration breaks or use additional lube to make sure there isn’t too much friction if you or your partner has a vagina
Dee Dussault helps people find their bliss through relaxation, mindfulness, and sensuality. She is the founder of Ganja Yoga, as well as a Tantra teacher and sexuality coach. Since 2009, she has worked privately with hundreds of couples and singles, and taught public classes to thousands more, helping them to relax, slow down, and enjoy both sex and life even more. She recently released her book, Ganja Yoga, which is available on her website. www.deedussault.com
Come join Alchemy at First Friday in Oakland for the launch of our newest vape cartridge, ALCHEMY GOLD, 70% THC! Alchemy now has a strength and experience that suits every lifestyle! The event is 21 and over, there will be drinks, vaping and the AMAZING photography of Jim Wright! The event runs from 6pm-10pm this Friday, March 3rd at Gallery EVB on 1738 Telegraph Ave. in Oakland, across from the Fox Theatre. We hope to see you all there!
PUFF, PASS, AND PAINT
Do you enjoy getting creative? Do you enjoy cannabis? Puff, Pass, and Paint is a new, 21 and over, Bay Area art class that combines cannabis, wine, and painting. After paying $49, class members are provided with a canvas, painting supplies, wine and an assortment of chips. Classes are set up as a BYOC (Bring Your Own Cannabis), but are sponsored by Alchemy vape pens, so guests are able to try out the assortment of Alchemy experiences throughout the evening. You can also order your cannabis from Eaze delivery service, and expect your items to arrive in under 20 minutes! This class, offered most days of the week in either San Francisco or Oakland, is the first of its kind and already very popular, according to artist and founder, Heidi Keyes. Each session is meant to be intimate, with around 20 students, which causes tickets to sell out quickly! Use the discount code, ALCHEMY, for a discount on your tickets.